Be A Love Giver
About ten years ago, my church organized every married member to watch a movie called Fireproof. The plot was around a couple in a failing marriage. After years of bitter arguments and distrust, they were headed for a seemingly unavoidable divorce. But, before pulling the trigger, the husband, Caleb, was advised to give it one more shot by taking on a Love Dare challenge. In 40 days, he would selflessly do an unexpected act of kindness to his wife, Catherine, every day without expecting the favor to be returned or even appreciated.
He started with:
Resolve to say nothing negative about your spouse today.
Buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking about you today.”
Contact your spouse sometime during the day and ask how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.
As Caleb carried out the challenge, he slowly but surely thawed Catherine's frozen heart and regained her trust. And their relationship improved. Toward the end, the dare would go deeper and deeper to something like:
Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Leave it in a place where your mate will find it.
Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home.
Aaaaanad, their marriage was saved, and they lived happily ever after. Yay!
Was the acting in the movie great? No.
Was the plot cheesy? Absolutely!
Did it ignite my lifelong love for challenges, like 100 Days of Rejection? Who is to say?
Regardless of what I thought about the movie, I really liked the idea of performing an unexpected act of kindness without needing acknowledgment, appreciation, and reciprocation. I thought it was such as powerful concept.
Over the years, I have sporadically done it to my wife Tracy, kids, friends and other family members, colleagues, and even mentors. And I did it not because I wanted something in return, but to become the type of person who would give out love without anything in return.
Some of the biggest life and career rewards and opportunities came from my doing these acts. I wouldn’t list them one by one, but I’ll say this: I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.
When you give out love, you develop a mindset of abundance, and you will be abundantly rewarded. But, more importantly, your days will be filled with positive emotions and fulfillment, which flood you with the hormone Oxytocin, an effective chemical for high productivity.
Let me know a time when you were kind to someone without expecting to be rewarded, but you were.
