Happy New Year 2023

Dear Friends,

Happy 2023! Every year, I write a family new year newsletter to our friends, detailing what happened to us last year, and what we hope to accomplish in the coming year. You know, the cheesy letters you receive from your past friends or colleagues but never read.

Well, my letter is different. I put so much thought and effort into writing it, I lose weight, hair and sperm counts afterward. They are indeed some of my best writings. In fact, this year, I like the message so much I’ve decided to rewrite it as a message to all of my readers. If you are reading this, you are my friend too, right?

From the Arabian Desert. Keep reading to find out why.

Before I go deep into personal matters, I want to start by talking about this guy - Lionel Messi. Yes, you might have heard him - the greatest soccer player in the world. Some might even call him the greatest ever! Moreover, he was also universally praised as a great teammate, and a good guy who was down-to-earth and relatable.

Before last year's World Cup, which happened in December in Qatar, Messi was already 35. He had conquered everything a soccer player could have ever dreamt of - 18 club championships (3 on the world level, 4 on the continental level, and 11 on the national level in 2 different countries), 1 national championship in South America (Argentina winning Copa América), 1 Olympic Gold Medal, and 6 Ballon d'Ors (world player of the year).

I’ll try to put this in relatable terms for those of you who are not soccer fans. If Messi were a politician, he would have been a House Speaker, Vice President, President (for both the United States and Canada), UN Secretary-General, King of Thailand, and the head of your office's Party Planning Committee.

That said, there was one gaping hole in the otherwise beyond-perfect resumé - leading his country, Argentina, to win the most prestigious championship in the world - the FIFA World Cup. In fact, many people believe that the lack of the World Cup trophy was the factor that separated Messi from being the GOAT (Greatest Player of All Time), Pelé (or Maradona, depending on your taste).

It wasn't for lack of trying either. Messi had given it all to his country, representing Argentina in four World Cups spanning 12 years. Each time they lost in excruciating fashion. 

Messi failed to win the World Cup in four previous tries

This past December, at age 35, Messi was an old and grizzled veteran, lacing it up one last time trying to capture the elusive glory in Qatar. 

How would that be possible? How could this middle-aged guy do it now if he couldn't do it as a youngster? 

If Uncle Messi winning the World Cup after four failures were a movie, the script would have been unanimously rejected by Hollywood. The ending would be too cheesy and unrealistic, one that makes you roll your eyes so hard that your optometrist thinks you need an exorcism. The Rotten Tomatoes page would have a 12% rating and be filled with snarky comments from critics to viewers alike.

Well, that's the difference between showbiz and the real world. In the real world, you don't need to give a crap about being believable. You can just go ahead and do it. You can make the impossible a reality. You can turn a lousy movie script into an epic chapter in the history book.

And Messi did just that. 

Not only did Argentina win the World Cup, Messi was also unstoppable during the tournament. He scored seven goals, with two goals in the Finals, and was named the MVP. Now, he's universally recognized as the GOAT.

16 years later, Messi finally won the World Cup for Argentina

OK, OK, I’m not reporting the news here. I'm sure you've heard this story many times. In fact, other than Russia's invasion of Ukraine, Argentina winning the World Cup was the most talked about global news in 2022. So why am I starting this newsletter with a soccer story?

Well, what really amazed me was how much people around the world genuinely and passionately cared about it. Other than their opponent - France, and their archrival - Brazil, everyone seemed to be rooting for Messi and Argentina in that game.

I saw people, regardless of country of origin, crying tears of joy on the street, on TV, and on social media after Argentina won. A famous sports commentator in China sobbed, "God is alive. God has eyes. He gave Messi a World Cup. It made it all worth it!"

The thing is, he didn't even believe in God! Messi converted him from an atheist to a believer on live television! (Add this to Messi's ever-expanding accomplishments - international evangelist).

OK, I’m not going to make fun of this guy or anyone rooting for Messi, because we were the same way. Although none of us had any connection or previous affinity for Argentina, my wife and I were both cheering and dancing like maniacs born on the streets of Buenos Aires in front of our TV. 

But it still doesn't make it all plausible to me.

I have been pondering this question ever since the game: why? Why do people care about Messi, a stranger, whose winning and losing has absolutely zero impact on their personal welfare, this much?

After some long walks and meditation in the shower, I think I have the conclusion:

We, as human beings, regardless of how cynical we can become, care about stories, especially inspiring stories to have just endings. It would be unjust for someone like Messi, who had accomplished just about everything else soccer-related in the world, to end his career without a World Cup win. In a Hollywood story, a happy ending must be believable and grounded. But in real life, the more unbelievable and magical the ending is, the more we crave it.

Messi's win represented the just and magical ending of a great dream and an amazing story that almost never happens in reality. And we were all rooting for it.

In a way, Messi winning the World Cup didn't only fill the only hole in his resumé, but also a giant hole in everyone's heart. 

Fans in Bangladesh, and everywhere in the world, celebrating Argentina's win

Now, the world isn't better today than it was before Messi's win. We still have wars, social issues, political divides, hungry children, Twitter-addicted billionaires, and a lingering pandemic. If you are poor, Messi didn't share his earnings with you. If your marriage is in trouble, Messi probably didn't teach you spousal communication skills. If your kids are spoiled brats, Messi likely didn't instruct them to be good (not even Santa could do it.)  

So what could make a difference in the world? More importantly, what could make a difference in OUR little world - the one that matters to us?

Let's talk about stories, like Messi's story, but our own story instead.

What if we fight like hell to have a great story in our own lives, just like Messi's life? None of us can accomplish what he did, but we can all fight to have better careers, better relationships with our families, better health, and better unforgettable experiences. Although no one, other than our family and friends, would be cheering for us. But the results would make a much more significant difference in our lives, way more so than Messi's story.

That, in fact, was what inspired every decision I made in 2022. I was 41, not young in the traditional sense anymore. Yet, I still had cheesy stories to write, unforgettable memories to obtain, and wild dreams to try. I wouldn't want the words "I am too old for this" to ever appear in my vocabulary (unless we are talking about bungee jumping, of course. I’m too old to try that shit whether at 20, 40, or 70). I want to win the World Cup in my life, however small it is in the grand scheme of things. Forget about the grand scheme of things! The personal scheme and little stories are all that matter to us! All of us!

Tyrion Lannister might be onto something after all

Here are the three things I want to highlight to capture the spirit of writing my own stories in 2022:

In March, I restarted an entrepreneurial journey after years of failures.

Some background: I was a tech founder before I became famous through Rejection Therapy. Then this, this, and this happened, and I became a writer and speaker. That said, I had never given up on the tech dream, and had built multiple apps on the side. None of them worked. There was so much failure that I wrote an article declaring the death of my dream. 

Well, sometimes dreams are like hot-and-cold girlfriends. When you finally have enough pain and give up on pursuing them, they realize you are a good guy and come back to you. 

Some of you might know this: I have had an ADHD problem my entire adult life. How I have earned my education degrees and writing career is a testament to Divine intervention and modern miracles. That said, I still deal with focus and discipline issues every day. So much so that I have to devise a spreadsheet system to keep track of my input goals, such as the number of hours writing, or the number of days to get up early. Based on the number, it will rate me at different levels, detailing how hard I have worked. 

It has worked so well to keep me productive. My spreadsheet is Moses’ staff, King Arthur’s Excalibur, and Elon Musk’s Twitter account all rolled into one. It makes my brain, something like an ice cream truck, run like a Tesla.

In March, I asked myself, would other people find my system helpful? There is only one way to find out - by opening up about my problems and solutions and inviting others to try them out.

I built a product called the Sisyphi Camp (the name was based on Sisyphus’ story. The idea was that we would push our lives’ proverbial rocks to the top of the mountain, then pee on Zeus together). Then I invited my fans and readers to join me in doing and counting daily productivity activities like a bunch of lunatics. We are going to be accountability buddies going forward!

In less than a week, 75 crazy people joined me in my venture, starting 1/1/2023. Three weeks into the new year, we are having an absolute blast! We are all writing, thinking, and achieving more every day. Personally, I haven’t felt this alive in a long time! 

Will this venture or anything I do become the next success on my entrepreneurial journey? I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. As long as the dream is alive, and the flame of my entrepreneurial torch remains lit, I still have a shot.

In the meantime, I'm having so much fun! You are welcome to join us!

Me and a bunch of people pushing our lives' rock together

In May, I decided to amend a broken heart with a personal triumph.

Some background: I am a diehard Duke Blue Devil fan (don't hate me. My wife and I met at Duke while pursuing our graduate degrees. We were married on-campus, and subsequently named our younger son after Cameron Indoor Stadium, the Duke basketball arena. We cannot NOT be fans).

In April, Duke went to the Final Four in New Orleans in legendary Coach K's final year of coaching, only to lose to our archrival North Carolina Tar Heels at the last minute. We were onsite to witness the heart-breaker. Actually, heart-breaker would be the understatement of the century. It was a heart-crusher, followed by a heart-blender, ending in a heart-vaporizer. 

That said, in May, I did something to repair my vaporized heart by going to the annual K Academy, an adult fantasy basketball camp hosted by no other than Coach K himself. Moreover, I had never played organized sports, which was a giant hole in my life. So now, I got to hit two regret-birds with one stone.

The K Academy was an experience more than I could have dreamt of. I got to hang out with numerous Duke alums, including NBA all-stars and coaching legends, and was drafted to play for a great team. 

My team showed tremendous heart, skills, and togetherness and won the championship of the camp. I got to embrace Coach K, and hoist the trophy with confetti raining down while One Shining Moment was playing on the big screen at Cameron Indoor Stadium. 

Did my personal championship make up for Duke's Final Four loss? No. But it has made it a lot more tolerable. A championship is a championship! 

My first championship in team sports happened at Cameron Indoor Stadium

In December, it was the World Cup. My wife Tracy and I are soccer fans (Tracy's more casual while I'm more serious). So when we got married in 2010, we said to each other: wouldn't it be awesome to go to every future World Cup and travel the world together?

Well, it was a nice little dream. And just like all nice little dreams, life eventually comes in and crushes it like a drunk mosquito. In 2010, we didn't go to South Africa because we had just married and started new jobs. In 2014, we missed Brazil because our eldest son was too young. In 2018, we let Russia pass because our younger son was too young, and we might never be able to go to Russia in the future with everything going on. It's now the 2022 World Cup, happening in Qatar. Twelve years later, we have already forgotten about our nice little dream. 

That was until this World Cup started. While watching an exciting group stage game on our living room couch, Tracy blurted out, "remember we said we were going to every World Cup together?" 

I scratched my head, "yeah… what happened to us?" 
Tracy, "why aren't we going this time?"
Me, "I don't know. The game has already started. It's kind of too late."
Tracy, "well, we can still go."
Me, "can we?"

That concept of "we can still go" came into our head like when Albert Einstein discovered Relativity. Once you think it, you cannot unthink it. 

In the three days, we researched, assessed, and hypothesized. The conclusion: yes, it would be crazy, but we could still go to Qatar! In fact, if we didn't go, we would regret it for the rest of our lives. Because this time, we had run out of excuses.

All hell broke loose: we applied for a Qatari visa, and booked flights and hotels. Unfortunately, the Qatari government wasn't too friendly to women traveling to their country, and kept delaying approving Tracy's visa. After countless phone calls, some choice words, and tons of earnest prayers, Tracy's visa was finally approved… 10 hours before the scheduled flight! We thanked God, wrote our wills, and took off.

30 hours later, we were on the other side of the world, in Qatar's Education City Stadium, watching Croatia knock out Brazil in a quarterfinal thriller that went into overtime and a penalty shootout.

A few hours later, we watched Argentina vs. Netherlands, another quarterfinal thriller that went into overtime and a penalty shootout. We witnessed Messi take his team to victory by scoring mesmerizing goals and making mind-bending passes in person, probably for the only time in our lives. After the win, we jumped up and down in the stands like salmons over a waterfall, and hugged random crying Argentine fans like they were our long-lost friends.

Cheering with random fans after Argentina win

The next day, we watched France vs. England. We sat behind the goal when English captain, Harry Kane, kicked his would-be game-tying penalty kick, along with England's hope of winning the World Cup, five feet over the crossbar. We got to watch the English fans stand there in shock and horror. We said to ourselves, "yep, we know that look and feel. That was us when Duke lost to UNC in the Final Four."

All in all, the Qatar trip was like a soccer buffet made of ecstasy and euphoria. It defied all our expectations and fantasies. More importantly, we fulfilled one of our life dreams, and marriage promises to ourselves.

Speaking of dreams, let's get back to Messi. He had dreamt of winning the World Cup since he was a teenager. At age 35, it was easy to say, "I'm too old for this," or "reality gets in the way." After all, he had accomplished everything else, so he could rationalize, find excuses, and just let it go. But he didn't. He said, "screw reality! I'm going after my dream one more time!" He did, and he won.

We all have dreams in our lives, although probably none to the grandeur of winning a World Cup. But no matter how small they are…, maybe it is to continue pursuing an entrepreneurial dream after countless failures, or winning a basketball championship in Cameron Indoor Stadium, or traveling the world to watch the World Cup as fans, they are all dreams waiting to be pursued. They are all decisions waiting to be made. And they are all holes waiting to be filled. 

I am glad to say that in 2022, I lived my life to the fullest, and I didn't let excuses and reality get in the way. 

I hope you all did pursue your dreams in 2022. And if you didn't, 2023 is right in front of you. After all, it took Messi 16 years to fulfill his dream, and it took me 12 years to fulfill mine. 

Let's all get our personal World Cups in 2023!

Jia Jiang
(If you've read it to the end, drop me a line, so I know you are awesome).